"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
