Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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