You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
