I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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