I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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