drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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