Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
