I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize