Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
