So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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