thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
