i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
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This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.