I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
