between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
