Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Your penis caused this!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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