she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.