yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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