Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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