I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
