So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize