No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
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there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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