never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
