Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
