I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
