Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm passing your future prison.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize