So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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