I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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