I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
