chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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