He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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