Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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