I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
