Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
