Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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