You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I did not marry a roomba.
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