i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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