Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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