the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
