Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
