Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
organizing the empties. That sober.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
where are my eyebrows?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize