She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
