Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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