It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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