I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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