if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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