Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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