Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hope mine doesn't look like that
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.