Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died