Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.

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  (818): Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes. http://tfl.nu/a910
  Replies (9) Good night (837) Bad night (999)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.

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  (412): Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super. http://tfl.nu/bpjq
  Replies (23) Good night (959) Bad night (5317)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.

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  (602): Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter. http://tfl.nu/60s7
  Replies (17) Good night (1265) Bad night (4885)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.

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  (401): This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/lyuy
  Replies (1) Good night (979) Bad night (3082)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart

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  (484): judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart http://tfl.nu/l5ge
  Replies (2) Good night (2413) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.

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  (970): I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff. http://tfl.nu/cfnv
  Replies (2) Good night (1444) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.

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  (515): He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up. http://tfl.nu/h6j3
  Replies (10) Good night (596) Bad night (1548)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY

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  (253): My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY http://tfl.nu/47h0
  Replies (3) Good night (382) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.

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  (906): She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it. http://tfl.nu/2rns
  Replies (4) Good night (378) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now

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  (850): If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now http://tfl.nu/v3ja
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?

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  (203): I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex? http://tfl.nu/agnf
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me

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  (610): Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me http://tfl.nu/c3kb
  Replies (2) Good night (607) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG

  (972): View more from Texas

  BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY

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  (954): I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG (972): BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY http://tfl.nu/u33r
  Replies (0) Good night (911) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.

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  (832): I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment. http://tfl.nu/h8ch
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club

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  (+44): Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club http://tfl.nu/ldfr
  Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (473)

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