Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm at about main and main street
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.