when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.