She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So many bounce houses so little time
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
