Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
