Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
