who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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