Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
