I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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