If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
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Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
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I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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