yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
