my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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