You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
