So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
this hospital has no fireball
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues