He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.