So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Okay so I just had a really great idea