I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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